Could it get any better than this?

How I Remember Him - A Tribute to Ashley Fair

Ashley Fair left this world far too soon. He was only 23 when he was killed on Monday night. However, Ash did something that most of us only try to attain on an inconsistent basis - he LIVED his life, truly.

He was part of my life since elementary school. I will never forget how he befriended me - we were sitting in French class and he would always ask me for my answers. Being a shy kid with few friends, I started sharing them. This led to talking, which led to us hanging out… we then became inseparable. Talking about life, what it meant, the cool things that we both loved, debating spirituality and what was real or not; some of it was pretty deep stuff for young teenagers. I got to see a side of Ash at a time where he didn’t show that to anyone. I feel privileged and honored that he would trust me with that side of him. He introduced me to a new way of looking at spirituality, and I truly believe that it shaped me into who I am today.

Something else he also taught me was strength. His friendship, among other factors, helped me grow away from that shy girl in French class to a go getter, someone not afraid of other people (to an extent). He also taught me strength when he exited my life for a year, going to Australia and leaving me without my best friend. This also taught me how to use a webcam and get used to converting time zones. 

When he came back we picked up as we had been, but things had changed. He had changed. He was more self confident too, discovering more of who he was in Aussie. I was jealous of his experiences, but happy for him that he was learning more of who he was and how to embrace it.We spent many a evening cruising and talking about life. One of our favourite spots was South Cooking Lake, chilling on a bench looking up at the stars - debating life and what it was all about.  That is a very special spot for me, even before this whole thing happened. It is because of these debates that I know that he’s having an awesome time wherever he is - he’s probably looking at this whole thing as a new adventure!!

High school and University saw changes in our relationship - we grew up and grew apart. We would still see each other every so often and text each other more, but it was never quite the same. Ash was the type of friend who was completely understanding about my situation - school. That doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t give me sass about not seeing him often enough!!

I’m trying to give Ashley all the positivity that he deserves… what a cheerful and genuinely happy person. He struggled, just like all of us do. But he chose to rise above that and live the happiest life possible.

Now, in saying all of this doesn’t mean that our friendship was perfect. He would bust my ass about stuff that I didn’t appreciate, whether it was valid or not. Sometimes I’d have to put his cocky little arse in line. Sometimes I’d be mad at him for something for months; I love him dearly, but all that confidence sure got to his head sometimes!! Always, we would call each other out on our shit and move on.One of these times was one of the last times I saw him… back in November I was having troubles with my boyfriend and he had recently broken up with Britton. He was upset and had a couple drinks under his belt, and started putting down Kyle and our relationship. I wasn’t in the mood for a bash fest, I needed his advice. I knew he was hurting too so I didn’t really take it to heart, but I was hurt on some level. I texted him about a week later to see how he was doing and update him on my situation and that was that; I could never stay mad at Ash for long. 

The friendship we had was rare, one of those ones that you didn’t have to see each other every week, or month, to be able to pick up without a blink of an eye. I will miss his advice, dropping by his place for a chat and drinks and going out for lunches during the work week. I think the most I will miss him, since he wasn’t a part of my everyday life anymore, is at the major stuff: my upcoming grad party, my wedding… stuff that I always thought he’d be around for. It was just a given.

I hope I’ve given a bit of justice to Ash’s memory. This is just a small grouping of words, but I felt I needed to put something out there. He wrote me a note that he handed me at the airport when he went to Australia in 2003, which has given me great strength under the circumstances - both then and now. I think it’s fitting to give him the last word:

Hey Britt,

How are things? lol. We’ll if you are reading this then I must be gone. I have no gift to give you so I will just remind you that you will always have my love and support. You will always have my friendship and you will always be my sister.

I feel blessed to have known you. I believe that if there is a God then he had a reason for us meeting each other. We should always honor our gift of friendship.

I know you’re probably crying right now so I just want to remind you the I will be back. I’LL BE BACK! Get that in your head. Don’t worry about what happens we’ll always know each other and we’ll see each other again… DON’T WORRY!

But I want you to be ok with the fact that I’m gone. I also want you to find someone like me to be in your life; they’ll be a guide for you while I’m gone.

You need to know that you have tons of friends that would kill for you. They all care about you the way I do because you have the ability to make peoples’ hearts shine.

I’ll see you again. Remember that there is a bigger plan than just this, for the both of us.

Goodbye my friend.
Goodbye my soul’s friend.
Goodbye my sister.
Goodbye Brittney.

Love always,
Ashley

I love you Ash, and I will miss you for the rest of my life.

I love this more than you will ever know :)

Via @palaeobeth (Twitter):

There is a group of PhDs sitting on the floor in the foyer, inspecting & handling the A. sediba casts. Play time for anthropologists. :)